[i believe in you]

this phrase has been on my mind (& heart) often this past year. when it pops up, i pause, smile and giggle. i am thankful to whomever coined this phrase.

i haven’t heard it spoken out loud in a very long time and so, i decided to say it (well, type it) here today. i might even get a tshirt printed one day.

it brings up memories/remembrance of all the suave uncles from back in the day, with their fishnet sleeveless tops, cigarette pack as a shoulder pad, emo rock music and words of wisdom. thank you to the uncles who embodied this phrase, you cared and you showed up. i miss you pok teh, i hope you are resting well.

my young shy self, my teen minah self, my current penat [tired] warrior self continue to live by this phrase – i believe in you… this has actually been my core – not to give up on mother earth and humanity easily, cheer earth and earth beings on. i didn’t realize i didn’t really verbalize believing in myself. did i even believe (in) myself? as an adoption survivor, am i even real, am i even here?

through healing, this phrase has come to mean – i believe in you and in expansion: i believe in me, i believe in us!

as i prepare to launch this practice/org on socials, i have had pangs of fear. frozenness. understandably, my history reminds me of the fears and nature of being alive as a woman of the global majority… being seen means being judged, misunderstood, racist aggressions, the familiar pain of soul wounding but it also means i can stay true to myself, support myself and others. thankfully i have a few great people cheering me on, including you. 

and i gotta remember – gua caya sama lu. i feel the power of liberatory elders & ancestors pushing me to be brave (to the grave? hahaha!) to fulfill this calling. i remember all the good here on mother earth, all the ones i have met that are striving for a just and better world for all of us. i must remain steadfast. i must put myself out there to be of service. here goes…

thank you for reading and being here. gua caya sama lu!

lu caya sama gua? if you do or wanna send some support, type YES or leave me some words of encouragement in the comments. terima kasih [thank you].

in caya/percaya [belief] and community,

sarah k

PS if you or someone you know needs extra support, i am here. please check out these pages and my offerings. my inner children and i and can’t wait to meet you.